The Power of “Yet”

The views expressed in this article are the author’s opinion and do not necessarily reflect the views of Body Twenty Global

We silently talk to ourselves all the time. It’s a normal and healthy way to shift the gears in our minds when it comes to thinking things through. This is something psychologists refer to as Self-Talk. These conversations you have with yourself could be about a million different things from what you want to prepare for dinner to what others think of your new car.

Because we’re constantly having these silent conversations though, there’s nobody around to interrupt us or disagree with us when we have self-talk that is discouraging, demeaning, irrational, or untrue. If you’re in an emotionally vulnerable place and you begin to have these ideas, you may find yourself talking yourself into some dark places. You may start to say and believe things like, “I’m not clever enough.”, “I’m not fit enough.”, or, “I’m not good enough.” This kind of self-talk can be dangerous and can lead you down a negative thinking cycle that gets worse and worse over time. If this becomes the case, you’ll lose motivation to do the difficult daily tasks that life demands of you. Here are simple tips you can try if your self-talk is hindering you.

Use This Simple Hack

Remember those negative statements listed in the previous paragraph about you being not clever, fit, or good enough? This is the part when you expect to read some motivating words about why those statements aren’t true, and that if you believe in yourself enough, then you can do anything, follow your dreams, climb every mountain, swim every ocean, blah, blah, blah. No. While those statements are negative and unpleasant, they may actually be true. Maybe you aren’t clever enough or fit enough to achieve your goals right now, and no number of motivational quotes, positive thinking, or self-indoctrination will make you cleverer or improve your fitness.

There is hope though. Human beings (including you) are designed to be amazingly adaptable. While you may not be clever or skilled enough, you can absolutely start changing that today. There is so much beauty in the fulfilment that comes from working hard at something every day and reaping the benefits of you labour later, so the next time you say to yourself, “I’m not fit enough.”, or “I’m not skilled enough.”, or “I’m not interesting enough.”, instead say, “I’m not fit enough YET.”, “I’m not skilled enough YET.”, or “I’m not interesting enough YET.” This implies that your journey is far from over and that you still have time to reach your goals. You are more malleable than you think, and I’m excited for you to continue going from strength to strength as you practice this simple habit.

Talk to Someone

It can be tricky to navigate our own self-talk at times. Often, we don’t know whether the statements and labels we put on ourselves are actually true or not. This is why talking about how you view yourself is so important. If the person you’re talking to is someone who you trust, who knows you well, and who will be honest with you, they can help you to decipher the beliefs about yourself as well as which ones are true and which one’s aren’t. Get a second opinion from another friend, family member, or counsellor if you need to.

If you’re walking around thinking that you’re a terrible golfer, but most of your friends disagree and can give you evidence against that, then you probably aren’t a bad golfer, and you’ll be less likely to believe that self-talk in future. Conversely, if you think that you’re an annoying friend, and this friend or family member honestly agrees with you, it may be quite the blow to your ego, but at least you can start to work on being a friend who’s more pleasant to be around.

Thanks for reading this article about Self-Talk. Be sure to look out for our next article next week. In the meantime, let us know what you thought of this article. If you have any suggestions for future articles, drop us an email at moreletavillage@body20.co.za. We’d love to connect with you.

Keep Growing

Dave Roebuck